Where Things Hit the Pavement

Speaking of salads, I recently spent six hours uprooting folks from their homes to make way for my vegetables, greens, and jasmine. I was no different from a member of any occupying force, yanking out unwanted dandelion and turf, tearing roly-polys and earthworms from their quiet little homes. Later, if necessary, I will set death traps for slugs and schedule murderous aphid patrols. I will seek out and kill their utterly defenseless babies without batting an eyelash. In the name of the plant lives I ordain to exist, many must die.
Gardening is some violent-assed shit.